Friday 7 May 2010

I love food!

I've been thinking about why I can't get on with this. I certainly don't hate food and in fact, I have a real aversion to that feeling too. Thing is, I seem to feel the same way about loving food too. It just feels like a pre-judgement.

 I might, but then again, I mightn't, on that particular day-because of the way it's been prepared, or a certain disliked ingredient. Or it not meeting my expectations and desires. I like to leave the possibility open that on this day, at this particular moment in time, this food bores me, is getting on my nerves. I can't make up my mind. I'm feeling a little cranky, etc,

I don't want to impose such an emphatic feeling on it.

It will be a summation of the whole process, discovery rather than fetish. If that makes sense.

If that's the kind of thing people mean when they say "I love food", fine. But if it's more of a kind of explanation, ie. I'm fat ergo "I love it because I eat or look like I eat lots of it. I find it's a little like an ideal of how you're supposed to respond to food, no surprises, no spontaneity. It feels like playing to type.

It's bad to enthuse about food, it's just well...what some people call part of mindful eating. All systems that hold to relatively rigid guidelines, may lead to a habit of the ideology being preferenced over that of bodily requirements. Whether it's I'm a gourmand/healthist/meat and potatoes type. You can start to get out of touch with yourself and be a servant to that.

That makes me feel a bit queasy.

Some are more sensitive to this than others, but this can all reach a tipping point where you get out of sync with your needs and appetites, or more they become blocked by your vision of what you should eat and feel about that according to some code.

Clearing your wardrobe and sorting through your clothes, every now and then it helps to mentally go through unexamined thoughts feelings and ideologies about food and what you feel you should or shouldn't be eating and your overall approach.

Checking if it still serves you, if your feelings have changed. Whether you can let go of certain things behind in order to refresh your mental palate. It's always a balance I'm not saying that one should or even can be free from having food ideals, or even that it's possible or desirable

Just that doing the occasional index can feel really good and re-ignite the sense of eating as something you experience in the present, rather than eating past baggage and your ideals, instead.

Once the idea is eaten more than the actual food, that's the time for a little re-think.

So good luck to you if you love food and can say that with heart and truth.

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